The memory of this was sparked last night as Chris and I were discussing this blog post and this blog post on Heathers blog and the comments in response to them.
WARNING: THIS WILL BE LONG
This is a story to illustrate in one small (well actually, very big) way the character and true love of my husband.
When I was pregnant with William I became interested in natural childbirth for various reasons. As I searched out different information and thought about it Chris got involved. He became educated and he not only attended childbirth classes with me, but was an active participant in the whole process. He attended every single prenatal exam with me and talked to them about issues I was afraid to bring up. We truly came to decided together that it was very important for our family that we prepare for and have a natural childbirth.
Not once, as we were preparing did I ever get any kind of feeling that Chris thought I might not be up to the challenge, or that it wasn't as important as I was feeling it to be. He not only supported and made the decision with me 100 percent, but he also believed in ME and US 100 percent. The confidence and peace this inspired me with was beyond compare.
I went into labor at about 10:00 pm on a Saturday. The first thing that Chris did was to get our neighbor to help give me a priesthood blessing. What a comfort! Even in relatively early labor it was much more comfortable to me to be up walking around or sitting on a birth ball rather than lying down. However, I felt like I was able to handle it okay and that Chris should get whatever sleep he could since it was going to be a long night and probably a long day. I walked for a while and then went into the living room, turned on a movie and sat on the birth ball. I had only been in there for a few minutes when Chris came in with his pillow and blanket and lay down on the couch. All he said was "I just need to be with you."
In the early morning labor became more and more intense and the contractions harder and closer together. We decided that it was time to go to the hospital which (thankfully-riding in a car is NOT fun in labor!) was only about 2 minutes up the street from where we lived. He got everything ready for me, and then made sure I was in the most comfort I could be in while driving and getting settled into the hospital.
As soon as we entered the hospital Chris's vigilance in looking out for my comfort and well being doubled. He made sure that the nurses staff knew what was going on, and that they knew what we wanted to do, but he was very friendly, and genuinely nice so as to handle everything in a way that would cause the least strain on everybody, especially me. He was my true partner in the fact that while in the hospital I relied on him completely without even realizing that I needed to. He was there, walking with me, rubbing my back, helping me find comfortable ways to rest, and when I started to freak out, showing me how to calm myself down and deal with the pain.
He stood on achingly tired legs and held me and helped me through the very long and grueling pushing process. And from the beginning to the end, when I would get short with him or frustrated, he simply loved me more and helped in a different way.
This story doesn't end with birth, however. After William was born at 10:30 that morning, and family had come in and everything had been cleaned up we were simply exhausted. But we also had this amazing bundle of pain and joy and hard work in our hands and we couldn't give him up. Instead of taking the opportunity to lie down somewhere comfortable, Chris pulled up a chair that leaned back (not comfortable!) right next to my hospital bed and we took turns closing our eyes and passing William back and forth for a couple of hours. I felt more unity and closeness with my husband and son in those couple of hours than I can even begin to describe.
Through the rest of that day and the next Chris was either by my side or with William every single moment. He wouldn't even go get anything to eat (the hospital only provides meals for the wife as part of the tab-you pay separately for husbands and he definitely wasn't going for that) because he didn't want to leave us. As I was recovering and more comfortable staying in the room, Chris accompanied William every time that they had to take him from our room for some test, or his circumcision. He wanted to be involved in every second of our child's life.
After a day or so when Chris really needed to go back to school it almost killed him to have to leave us. This experience with my husband and child are beyond the price of rubies for me. It makes the pain and the hardship non-existent as it is washed away in joy.
I can't even express the gratitude i feel for him and the unity I feel with him knowing that we walk through life side by side. That we make decisions and face challenges together. That he is not simply a babysitter to my children, but he is truly a parent and that we are parents together. Although we are both human, and both make mistakes and both have a lot to learn I really feel as if we are learning how to fulfill the scripture "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh".
As I reflect on this example of how my dear husband truly rose to full stature in fulfilling his role as one who presides over, provides for, and protects his family it brings many other times and examples to mind. I am so grateful for the man that I married and the man he is becoming. I am so grateful for a love that starts out strong and deepens and matures with time. I am so grateful for a best friend.
This is one of my favorite pictures. It really says it all.
